EDITOR'S NOTE:What follows are the words of Molli Jo, Char's daughter. Her instruction to me was that if spelling and/or grammar needed correction (which it didn't) that it would be OK, but to please not change the meaning of the words. Her words powerfully express the pain that she and her siblings felt, but for me the real impact of her words are the understated account of the reconciliation between Molli Jo and Char described in her closing paragraph.
I barely changed a comma.

Molli Jo's Recollections:
I had never visited or even seen a prison before, but I knew Mom had had a prison pen pal even before Ken. I was only thirteen years old when my Mom took my sister and me to Marion Prison. The first pen pal stopped contact with mom and she was now corresponding with Ken. This was not a trip that I wanted to take. I wasn’t ever asked if I even wanted to go. It just seemed expected. It was a trip that Mom wanted us to take with her. My Mom visited the prison every Saturday. Many times she would drive to Marion with other women visiting inmates.

I remember feeling very confused and scared when we arrived at the prison. It made me very uncomfortable having the guard at the entrance go through the all of our belongings. I didn’t understand why I was there. The old brick prison was not glamorous; in fact, it looked spooky to a young girl. I certainly didn’t know Ken or anything about his family or his crime. I remember staring at all the inmates, thinking to myself “I wonder what he did.” or “I wonder whom he killed.” At that age, I thought prison was for really bad people that killed or hurt others. I guess I felt this way because of TV and the media.

Every trip, my Mom would carry a large lunch basket filled with all kinds of good food and treats and even some cigarettes for Ken. In the basket, there were always a lot of Ken’s favorite snacks. I remember thinking to myself, “Who is this man and why is he so special to receive all these goodies?” As a big family, money was often tight. But yet, every Friday night, Mom went shopping for these treats that were not for us too eat. They were only for Ken. Mom would even put notes on them telling us that they were not for us.

Even though the weekend visits occurred consistently, Mom only took us to the prison one more time. My dad ended the visits as he felt that it was inappropriate for us to go. As my Mom continued her relationship with Ken, I remember feelings rising to the surface. I was beginning to feel jealous and somewhat neglected. Mom would spend every Friday night shopping for Ken and then spend Saturdays getting ready and going to visit him. Later on, the Saturday’s visits spilled into Sundays as well. This was now a routine. To me, she seemed consumed with Ken. She was so committed to him that it appeared that she lacked commitment to our family.

Letters from Ken started to arrive daily. Some days there was even more than one. I remember having feelings of abandonment as the letters arrived addressed to Mrs. Charlene Hulsey. “Why was Ken’s last name after my mom’s?” I felt like our family was falling apart and we were losing our mother.

There were many times when I wanted and even asked my Mom to take an interest in my life. During my high school years, I played basketball and worked hard to be one of the best players on the team. I wanted to show her this in the city championship game, but she was too preoccupied with her Saturday visit with Ken. Even one Christmas, she was going to spend at the prison with Ken, but my sister cried and pleaded with her to stay with the family. She did, but it was obvious where her heart and thoughts were. We felt she did not want to be with us and our feelings were hurt.

The resentment grew each weekend that I had to watch my Dad’s hurt and sadness as he stayed home with all of us while my mom went off to the prison to visit her “boyfriend”. I blamed all this sadness on her and her relationship with Ken. Because of events such as these, coupled with the resentment and the jealousy, our mother/daughter relationship disintegrated. We lost many years as the anger drove and kept us apart.

Today, when I look back, I feel bad for all the hurtful words and conversations and the wasted years. Fortunately, my Mom and I have reconciled and we have a good relationship because it is based on events of the present, not the past. We have talked many things out and have forgiven each other. We both have gone through many things in our lives and we have learned to accept each other for who we are.

A MOTHER'S NOTE:

As I reflect back on the choices I made and the pain I afflicted on my children because of those choices, I can only rejoice in forgiveness. I am truly thankful that Molli has forgiven me the issues she had with my prison mission to Ken and my insensitivity to what she needed as a teenager.

Thanks be to God we can live in reconciliation with Him as well as those who we have injured and who have injured us. Life is so short to live it in the prison of unforgiveness. We can only be set free from that bondage when we seek God's Grace and receive it with an open heart...and share that same grace with others.

I am proud of Molli Jo. Today she serves her Lord by working at Milan Prison as a Senior Officer Specialist in Corrections. She is working on her Master's Degree to hopefully one day be a Prison Warden.