I'm a very determined person. I certainly don't give up easily when God calls me to a task. Ken sounded like a hard nut to crack to me. I knew without doubt that God was calling me to witness to Ken and I really needed His help. I knew if there was going to be a "connection" here, it would be a breakthrough of the Holy Spirit to touch this man's heart. I continued to pray and ask God to give me the words to witness to this heart of stone.

He had asked me to stop writing him and I did. The Lord said to me, "I want you to go visit Ken." By that time "the Hermit" had a name. I really struggled with this. Writing was one thing, going see this man in prison was another. When God nudges and calls you do to something, it just doesn't go away. We can either obey or choose to ignore His voice. He never forces us to do His bidding, yet we just have to respond one way or the other. God's voice was loud and clear in a soft and gentle way. I knew in my heart what He wanted me to do. On the 9th day of February, 1980, I took off in my car heading toward Marion Correctional Institute in Marion, Ohio.

My life until then had been very sheltered. I raised six children but drove only to church, work, the grocery store, the mall, picked up and delivered my kids to whereever they needed to go. I had never in my life driven on an expressway heading out of town. I was scared. I kept repeating this verse of scripture all the way down there: "So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
I didn't even know what this man looked like. He could have been Chinese, Russian, Afro-American, Indian or anything at all. I had no idea who I would be meeting that day.

But I knew I would be meeting Jesus. As I grew up my favorite scripture was Matthew 25:31-40 "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me," Jesus said, "I was in Prison and you visited me." So, I was now on my way to meet Jesus. Ken had become Jesus with skin. We were both in a kind of prison. My prison didn't have bars, but I wasn't any more free than Ken.

Our first visit was very tense. I did feel uncomfortable at first, especially when I said something dumb like, "What are you in here for?" With hostility he replied, "For doing away with a crazy broad like you who asked too many questions." I moved my chair back from the table and thought, "I'm out of here, I can't stand this guy." He was so arrogant and rude, but I knew that I could love him through Jesus because that is what God asked me to do.

On the way home I told the Lord I could never go back there again. The next few visits weren't much different. His anger seemed to consume him and it didn't take much to set him off. The past can control the present and the future. Revisiting past hurts produces bitterness. Bitterness produces unforgiveness. Unforgiveness produces anger. Anger produces confusion, fear and depression. Ken was stuck in that vicious cycle. I could tell, because I had walked that same path of destruction. My mission was now to demonstrate to Ken that God loves him and forgives him all of his past, and that if Ken could accept God's forgiveness, ken could go on to a new life without all of the negatives.

At first, I would never let Ken sit next to me. He was just too angry, so I kept my distance. I knew deep that the Holy Spirit would penetrate that anger given enough time. I placed it in God's hands, praying and waiting on God's perfect timing. The first sign that the Spirit was breaking through was that Ken went to the Prison Chapel. After a few months of visits, he asked me if he could sit next to me. I said, "Yes, if you start going to Church services on Sunday." That was a deal. Ken began attending chapel services regularly. Chaplain Wiley ministered to Ken along with all the Christian Brothers and Pastors who came each Sunday to witness to the inmates. Ken's hardened heart was was being penetrated by God's word.

One Sunday when Chaplain Wiley preached a particularly powerful sermon, Ken said it was all about his own life. How could Chaplain Wiley know how Ken felt? Of couse, he didn't really. Ken told me later he knelt down at the altar and broke down and cried like a baby. Christ was coming into Ken's life by invitation and Ken's heart broke in two as he experienced God's grace. Ken was later baptized in the Prison Chapel by Chaplain Wiley. The next visit Ken didn't even look the same to me. In fact, he never again looked the same. The old Ken had died. God had begun His work of redemption in Ken, and like everyone else in the Kingdom, Ken died daily to his sins.

What a difference Christ makes in a life. I related to Ken's brokenness since I too had lived a life of despair and brokenness. We became "Wounded Healers" to each other.

Ken became involved in Prison Bible Studies and began witnessing to the other inmates. What must the other inmates have thought? He went from being insane with rage to being crazy in love with the Lord Jesus. He was still incarcerated, but he was free. There is no pit so deep that God isn't deeper still. No matter how far we sink in sin and despair, God can still meet us there. Ken didn't go seeking God. God came to Ken in the depths of hell, and He will come into your life in the same way. God did come to Ken in grace and lifted him right up out of Hell.

Now Ken waited to be set free physically. I continued to visit him every Saturday for the next 6 1/2 years. By then our relationship had taken on another dimension. It was beginning to be clear to me that God had a plan for our relationship to become more direct emotionally, spiritually and physically. I had let my walls and barriers down and I had to admit I was falling in love with Ken. We prayed about this since the steps I would have to make would hurt a lot of people, mostly my children.

My children were not taking this relationship very well, understandably. The biggest mistake I ever made was to expect my children to accept Ken with open arms. My divorce had been painful for them, and now I expected them to embrace Ken as their stepfather. This would not have been their first choice for their Mom. It has left wounds on all of my children to this day to varying extents. Yet, they do embrace Ken with love, and Ken loves my family with an unqualified love. There is nothing he wouldn't do for them, especially the grandchildren.

Ken had been sentenced to life in prison without parole, but we trusted in God's promise in Jeremiah 29:11-12
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." God has given Ken a future full of hope. Through finding Christian sponsors for Ken, going to the Parole Board twice in Columbus, and divine intervention, Ken was set free on April 10, 1987. Ken served nineteen years of his life behind bars. He had only been nineteen when he walked through the doors of the prison. He walked out a man of thirty-eight, but a man of God. Like the rest of us sinners, Ken still fights against the powers of darkness, and the old self.

Ken was released to live with the Christian friends who sponsored him. He lived with them at the New Life Mission Center on Jefferson Avenue in downtown Toledo. He began a strict five year parole probation, and it wasn't easy. We had our share of ups and down. Ken didn't have a hard time finding a job. He was released on a Friday and started work the next Monday. A Christian businessman gave Ken his first chance and he began work at Holland Building, Inc. doing lawn care and all sorts of outdoor building work. By then it was clear to us that we wanted to live our lives together in a Christ centered relationship. The children were coming around at this point and in their loving hearts accepted the reality of our marriage.

We were married on June 4, 1988, in the outdoor chapel of Memorial Lutheran Church where I worked as Church secretary. My daughter Kristin had the reception at her farm in Swanton, Ohio. The children all made our wedding day so special and gracious. Many obstacles were to come later.

Jack's parents were present at our wedding and Pa (Jack's dad) walked me down the aisle. I always loved him so much and he was always there for me whether he thought I was doing the right thing or not. They have both been called to their heavenly home.